As retirement age approaches (and passes), many people are excited to get started on this new chapter of life. They may have spent years anticipating relaxing afternoons lounging in the sun or peaceful mornings reading a book with no other commitments. However, what they may not have foreseen is the gradual dwindling of their friend circles. Employment is one of the top sources of social interaction, and senior loneliness spikes after retirement (and remains high).
Loneliness takes its toll on mental health, but it comes with many other ramifications. Establishing new friendships or strengthening existing ones becomes more important than ever for people 50 and older, but the process of doing so can suddenly seem daunting. Here are some tips for building lasting friendships for folks who are getting a little older.
The Impacts of Senior Loneliness
Feeling lonely can bring sadness, apathy, and even guilt, which can easily drain the appeal out of a person’s relaxing and enriching day-to-day activities. While that by itself is cause to find a solution, most aging adults and their families do not realize that loneliness is more than just a feeling; it is a health concern that comes with many risks, including an increased chance of premature death.
In fact, people aged 50 and older face a 26% increased risk of premature death if they are suffering from social isolation or severe loneliness (compared to those who have an active friend group). Given that almost a quarter of all adults older than 65 can be categorized as socially isolated, the medical ramifications of a dwindling friend group are so impactful that some people consider this phenomenon an unspoken epidemic.
In addition to the increased risk of all-cause mortality, older adults who do not maintain strong friendships are more likely to suffer from significant health problems. Coronary artery disease, strokes, and dementia are all on the rise in this cohort.
How to Build Lasting Friendships
As people age, the importance of socialization becomes increasingly evident, making the pursuit of new friendships invaluable. However, all of the places where it has been easiest to find friendships throughout life, such as work and school, are already in the past. Or are they? Here are some tips for finding new friends and forming lasting friendships.
Stay flexible
Studies show that as people age, they tend to invest more time in managing the relationships they already have. In turn, they close themselves off to new relationships, and as their existing friend circle shrinks, they do not refill it again.
Flexibility is essential. Remain aware of established routines and make a concerted effort to break them sometimes. Getting out of this comfort zone is the first step toward investing in other connections.
Embrace diversity
One common challenge for older folks when finding friendships is that the pool of choices seems to be limited. Often, this is because they are not looking in all the places they could. Consider stopping by an international potluck or participating in a foreign language club at a university to experience the rich cultural diversity that the world has to offer. This can expand a person’s horizons and introduce them to people outside their bubble that they may never have encountered otherwise.
Take full advantage of tech
Technology is one of the most valuable tools for making new friends. From online groups focused on topics of interest to message boards and chats with pen pals around the world, technology opens up the possibility of forming friendships with countless people. It also allows an individual to invest in building a lasting friendship with someone who may no longer be present, such as a person who moved away or who is no longer mobile enough to meet.
Piggyback
Are you having difficulty finding a good place to meet new friends? Consider piggybacking off of loved ones or other friends. Join them when they go out and make friends with their friends. The more a person expands their social circle, the more connections they can establish. In addition, this strategy can make for rich, fulfilling friendships, since many of these bonds will be forged between more than one person in the group, leading to a feeling of found family.
Enjoy a Flourishing Social Life
For the majority of people, making new friends and maintaining existing friendships becomes increasingly difficult over time. However, with some intention, overcoming senior loneliness and enjoying rich, full friendships is possible.
Contact us to learn how the Shepherd’s Center of Northern Virginia is impacting communities such as Oakton, Vienna, Dunn Loring-Merrifield, Great Falls, Herndon, and Reston. If you’re outside these areas but have questions, give us a call, and we’ll guide you to the Shepherd’s Center nearest to you!